I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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