We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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