you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
