I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
