i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too