Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
