drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize