hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
