What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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