Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
