you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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