Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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