I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
