I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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