kristin has been a bad kristin
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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