Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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