I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
