I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
