addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
