Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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