im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
