what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
