oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
