remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
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He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
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Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me