Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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