The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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