Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

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  (256): Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face? http://tfl.nu/ju4e
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (3013)
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  (818): View more from California

  don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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  (818): don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily. http://tfl.nu/2c0y
  Replies (24) Good night (3669) Bad night (708)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.

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  (484): I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition. http://tfl.nu/zjox
  Replies (9) Good night (5053) Bad night (1013)
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  (518): View more from New York

  med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.

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  (518): med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV. http://tfl.nu/e3eb
  Replies (14) Good night (1689) Bad night (5306)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

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  (205): we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with. http://tfl.nu/n5zf
  Replies (6) Good night (896) Bad night (3659)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom

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  (847): I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom http://tfl.nu/peqw
  Replies (8) Good night (1373) Bad night (2283)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.

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  (732): Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after. http://tfl.nu/ay86
  Replies (17) Good night (4832) Bad night (1122)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Are we still banned from the library?

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  (313): Are we still banned from the library? http://tfl.nu/xtiu
  Replies (12) Good night (2535) Bad night (809)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

  (406): View more from Montana

  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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  (307): ... I threw up in the shower this morning (406): You were "I'm not drunk" drunk. (307): I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time. http://tfl.nu/80b5
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (953)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long

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  (443): Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long http://tfl.nu/owq9
  Replies (14) Good night (1640) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."

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  (320): I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you." http://tfl.nu/09tn
  Replies (5) Good night (746) Bad night (505)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere

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  (717): Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere http://tfl.nu/ab4x
  Replies (0) Good night (830) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend

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  (402): just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend http://tfl.nu/jyrl
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.

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  (218): I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him. http://tfl.nu/9bz3
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober

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  (908): my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober http://tfl.nu/iyhi
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (273)

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