How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.