From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children