Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.

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  (917): It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay. http://tfl.nu/aq98
  Replies (14) Good night (649) Bad night (3018)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4497) Bad night (1228)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed

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  (815): man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed http://tfl.nu/08b9
  Replies (64) Good night (1961) Bad night (4465)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.

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  (860): I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared. http://tfl.nu/7yxr
  Replies (13) Good night (5687) Bad night (1001)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".

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  (616): he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail". http://tfl.nu/2qss
  Replies (27) Good night (5539) Bad night (1148)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

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  (609): just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore http://tfl.nu/abxm
  Replies (8) Good night (1156) Bad night (3514)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.

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  (773): please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes. http://tfl.nu/3kln
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (2810)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

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  (570): I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar http://tfl.nu/q05v
  Replies (11) Good night (1025) Bad night (2573)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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  (928): Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/yr6e
  Replies (18) Good night (1578) Bad night (2913)
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  (619): View more from California

  im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet

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  (619): im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet http://tfl.nu/up6c
  Replies (5) Good night (949) Bad night (1969)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.

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  (228): Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis. http://tfl.nu/q40e
  Replies (15) Good night (5124) Bad night (901)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, that was you

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  (215): Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick? (215): Yeah, that was you http://tfl.nu/rydz
  Replies (7) Good night (2934) Bad night (912)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!

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  (479): That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?! http://tfl.nu/832w
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (737)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If I was 5 years younger and single...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She STILL wouldn't fuck you.

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  (508): If I was 5 years younger and single... (413): She STILL wouldn't fuck you. http://tfl.nu/p2kv
  Replies (4) Good night (1302) Bad night (783)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everyone says I win the strip club

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  (215): Everyone says I win the strip club http://tfl.nu/j5vl
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (190)

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