I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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