So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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