all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
