so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize