she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
