it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
