Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
