Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
