I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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