I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
