I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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