So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
honey bunches of taint.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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