He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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