he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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