dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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