So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
