I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
