Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
