end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
