No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
