I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
