Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
