I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
