I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
