i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
