i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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