And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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