So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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