Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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