I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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