You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
