So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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