...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
