I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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